Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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