my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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