If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
