Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
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