I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
