Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
