How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
