Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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