Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
