OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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