It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
