That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Drunk walkin through police station. America
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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