Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
50% drunk capacity currently
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize