he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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