i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
