And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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