U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize