id be glad to
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
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