she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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