I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize