Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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