Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Randomize
