What a fucking waste of an outfit
just come out here and I will go home with you...
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Randomize
