oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
