make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize