I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
