they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
The uberlube is also flammable
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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