I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
im holly from the hills drunk
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
