we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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