call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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