is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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