She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
