A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
