Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
