Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
this just has baby written all over it
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
