it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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