I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
