swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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