i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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