But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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