"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Randomize
