Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
