I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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