he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
