is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
