You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
