What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Randomize
