I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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