even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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