is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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