i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
