I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
