textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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