Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize