You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
