Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
