she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
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