The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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