We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
You need a sexual gate keeper
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
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