is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Randomize