mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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