At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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