is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
