shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Maybe he injected his testicle?
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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