We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
