Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
